The Passion of the Christine
It's the first day of fourth grade for Ritchie. When Christine and the other moms meet the class' disarmingly handsome new teacher, Daniel Harris, they decide to schedule a few parent-teacher conferences immediately. Meanwhile, no longer dating New Christine, Richard stays with Christine while he builds a new laundry room for her. But problems arise when Ritchie misinterprets the comfortable arrangement and believes his parents have gotten back together. Christine scrambles to find a way to explain that she could never reunite with Richard--or could she?
The Answer is Maybe
Worried about Richard's indiscriminate dating habits and reluctantly realizing that she misses New Christine as well, Christine vows to bring the couple back together. Her efforts on Richard's behalf result in an unexpected benefit in Matthew's love life. Meanwhile, Christine goes on a date with a great guy, Jeff, who seems perfect for her--except for one small detail.
Come to Papa Jeff
When Christine's parents are unable to attend Grandparents' Day at Ritchie's school, New Christine suggests that Jeff, the new man in Christine's life, go as Ritchie's special friend. But after Christine learns that Jeff really is a grandfather, she is forced to rethink the relationship.
Oh God, Yes
Christine is surprised when Ritchie expresses a newfound interest in religion after returning from a church festival with Richard and New Christine. Having once had a bad experience at church, Christine reexamines her beliefs and, with Ritchie and Matthew in tow, decides to give God another chance.
After announcing that she and her husband are getting a divorce, Barb moves in with Christine. Expecting Barb to be wallowing in misery in the same way Christine was after her own divorce, Christine tries to be supportive. Meanwhile, due to the new living arrangements, Matthew relocates to Ritchie's room, where he discovers his nephew's strange sleep habits.
When manipulative moms Marly and Lindsay convince Christine to serve hot lunch at Ritchie's school, Christine finds herself serving with Stan, also known as "Sad Dad," and she finally admits why she's so attracted to him. After Matthew's date from the previous night shows no intention of ever leaving, Christine decides that she and Matthew must take control of their dating lives, and she vows never to sleep with Stan again.
Playdate with Destiny
Christine's attraction to Ritchie's teacher, Mr. Harris, causes a scene at a school fundraiser---especially after Ritchie wins a playdate with him. When Ritchie is unable to go on the playdate, Christine nervously meets Mr. Harris herself. Meanwhile, Matthew, Richard and Barb demand that Christine get organized after they all arrive at the same time to pick up Ritchie after school.
Women N 'Tuition
When Christine realizes she can't afford the newly raised tuition at Ritchie's school, she tries to get help from everyone except the person who is offering it freely: Barb. Meanwhile, after Matthew views a video message to himself that he recorded 10 years ago, he decides it's time to change his life.
Annoyed that Ritchie finds his weekends with his dad more fun than his weekdays with her, Christine decides to make Richard responsible for helping Ritchie complete a big homework assignment. But when Marly and Lindsay explain what will happen if Ritchie doesn't create an impressive project, Christine can't help taking matters into her own hands.
What About Barb?
Now that Barb is a co-owner of Christine's women's gym, the two women don't always agree on how to run it. When Barb starts working there, Christine can't accept the reality of not being in complete control. Meanwhile, Matthew helps Ritchie find the perfect nanny to replace him when Matthew starts medical school.
When Christine's modest hybrid car crashes into Marly's gigantic sports utility vehicle in the school parking lot, the women agree to take care of their own damage. But later, after having her insurance company bill Christine, Marly claims the accident was Christine's fault. Fortunately, Christine gets some secret help from an unexpected source. Meanwhile, although she is an avowed environmentalist, Christine rents a huge luxury vehicle and guiltily enjoys it. Also, New Christine and Richard use unorthodox methods to teach Ritchie the U.S. state capitals.
Christine reluctantly signs Ritchie up for soccer after Mr. Harris, Ritchie's fourth grade teacher and the school's soccer coach, informs her and Richard that Ritchie is having trouble making friends. Richard feels strongly that it's a good idea for Ritchie to learn about team sports and have more male influence in his life. Meanwhile, Christine, who claims not to believe in competitive sports, finds herself competing with Richard for Mr. Harris' attention during a game.
Endless Shrimp. Endless Night
After Christine convinces Matthew to let her come with him to his friend's party, she learns about her brother's world outside of their home, including some colorful friends and a pretty ex-girlfriend. Intent on being a helpful sister, Christine then takes it upon herself to meddle in Matthew's love life. Meanwhile, Richard tries to get Ritchie interested in his job as a contractor.
Let Him Eat Cake
Christine resents that New Christine is reaping the benefits of all the time Christine spent trying to perfect Richard while they were married. After Christine recommends a thoughtful birthday gift for New Christine to give attentive, romantic Richard, Christine can't tolerate his not knowing whose idea the present really was.
Sleepless in Mar Vista
Sleep-deprived Christine's mood swings cause tension with everyone around her until she tries some potent new sleeping pills. Unfortunately, she wakes up to discover that she made several embarrassing phone calls while knocked out, including one to her former boyfriend, Burton.
Christine worries that she has lost her ability to attract men. When Richard's very attractive brother, Joe, kisses her, she feels revitalized--but she finds out a surprising secret about Joe that even Richard doesn't know.
Eager to make a difference in the world, Christine volunteers to collect signatures supporting an issue she doesn't quite understand--as she finds out from a competitive signature-seeker, Audrey. Meanwhile, when Richard learns that Barb and Matthew once kissed years ago, Barb demands an equally embarrassing secret from Richard as insurance that he'll never tell Christine. She learns more than she wanted to know.
The Real Thing
Intending to send an e-mail about her relationship with Mr. Harris only to Barb, Christine accidentally sends the scandalous message to all of the parents at Ritchie's school, almost getting Mr. Harris fired. While Christine and Mr. Harris are being reprimanded by the head of the school ethics committee, Christine gets some surprising news from Mr. Harris.
Christine's controlling nature causes her to go too far and jeopardize one of Richard's construction jobs. When she learns that Richard has been hired to remodel Lindsay's bathroom, Christine can't help intervening to make sure he doesn't screw up the job and risk their reputation at Ritchie's school. She and Richard are also at odds over which of them should have a talk with Ritchie about sex.
My Big Fat Sober Wedding
At the wedding of her ex-boyfriend, Christine agrees to be the designated driver for Richard, New Christine and Barb. But she wishes she could drink when the groom gives a loving toast to his new bride--and accidentally says Christine's name instead. Meanwhile, Richard gets into trouble with New Christine by professing his distaste for marriage. And Matthew and Ritchie mistakenly think that the wedding gift Christine bought is intended for them.
Ritchie is excited to go on his first overnight camping trip with his class, but Christine worries about him making it through the night without her. Christine, Richard, Matthew and Barb follow the school bus to the desert, hoping to stay in touch with Ritchie via walkie-talkie, and they end up in a sleazy motel. In the close quarters, Matthew wonders if he is attracted to Barb, while Richard misses New Christine, who is taking a break from him.
Christine is stunned to discover that a night of fun may have resulted in an unforeseen consequence. Her reckless actions could also jeopardize her chance to begin dating Mr. Harris.
The Big Bang
Christine and Mr. Harris are finally ready to consummate their relationship -- until Barb says something that gives Christine reason to worry. And Matthew rethinks medical school after discovering that the cadaver assigned to him is a former neighbor.
Beauty is Only Spanx Deep
After a pretty young waitress flirts with Mr. Harris, Christine worries he will leave her for someone younger and visits a plastic surgeon.
Christine is shocked when a new dad at Ritchie's school calls her a "meanie mom" for being judgmental and standoffish, and dumps her for Marly and Lindsay.
Christine promises to accompany Mr. Harris to an important event, but leaves him hanging when Ritchie's soccer game runs long.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Christine attempts to stop sulking and get over her breakup with Mr. Harris. Meanwhile, Matthew goes to therapy and learns that his intimacy issues are not due to his dysfunctional relationship with his mother, but from his overly intimate and codependent relationship with his sister, Christine.
The New Adventures of Old Christine
Christine reluctantly lets New Christine set her up on a blind date, but the date goes from bad to worse as Christine discovers he is not who he made himself out to be.
When Christine learns that Richard and New Christine bought the house she had always dreamed of, she tries to contain her jealousy and attempts to feel genuinely happy for them.
Burning Down the House
Christine considers taking a walk on the wild side in order to make Barb think she's not a square.
The Happy Couple
After discovering that Barb and Matthew spent the night together, Christine forbids them to see one another. But Matthew and Barb, who are still determining whether to be a couple after the intimate night, pretend to be inseparable.
One And A Half Men
When Christine's gynecologist suggests that her flu-like symptoms may be her experiencing perimenopause, Christine tries to take charge of her hormones.
A Decent Proposal
Christine proposes marriage to Barb to save her best friend from being deported to the Bahamas. Meanwhile, Richard attempts to propose marriage to New Christine.
How I Hate Your Mother
Richard asks Christine to return her wedding ring -- previously his mother's -- so he can use it to propose to New Christine.
White Like Me
After Barb is profiled in a business journal, new clientele hits the gym and business really picks up.
Snakes on a Date
Christine agrees to go on a date with Neil, the lizard guy, a children's entertainer who specializes in reptiles and reptile parties in an effort to get Ritchie acceptance into the Reptile Club.
Everybody Says I Love You Except Ritchie
When Ritchie stops telling Christine he loves her, she is devastated and asks Richard to have a baby with her so she can have a new child to love her the way Ritchie used to.
Tie Me Up, Don't Tie Me Down
Barb and Christine meet two men at a video store and prepare to go on a casual, double date. Neither of the ladies is looking for a relationship, but jealousy arises when one date goes better than the other and only one of them is asked out for a second time.
So You Think You Can Date
Richard joins Christine and her new boyfriend, Patrick, on a dinner date.
Christine is thrilled when a talent scout recruits Ritchie to audition for a television commercial after his shockingly great performance in a school play, but Richard refuses to let him go. Who will win the argument?
Rage Against the Christine
Christine thinks Patrick is the perfect boyfriend. But after Christine wins at tennis against him, he has a surprisingly odd reaction to her competitiveness and shows a shockingly bizarre side of himself.
Guess Who's Not Coming To Dinner
Christine dreads going home to see her domineering mother, Angela, at Thanksgiving and cringes at her constant disapproval. Once there, however, Christine is able to thwart one of her mother's criticisms when she discovers a secret they have in common.
Christine and Barb are informed by the parent company of their gym franchise that they've broken a contractual clause and may lose the gym.
When Christine and Barb can't get a loan to keep their gym franchise, they decide to transform their building into a day spa.
Notes on a 7th Grade Scandal
Christine tries to make a good impression at Ritchie's Junior High Parents Orientation, but when she recognizes one of the fathers who is there as the boy who ruined her reputation when she, herself, was in junior high, she reverts back to seventh grade behavior and decides to take revenge.
What Happens in Vegas is Disgusting in Vegas
Christine and Barb throw New Christine an impromptu bachelorette party in Las Vegas, and the typically buttoned-up New Christine loses all her inhibitions and discovers a wild side she never knew she had.
When Barb and Matthew both announce they're moving out and Ritchie leaves for science camp, Christine tries to prove to everyone -- including herself -- that she's capable of taking care of herself.
Honey, I Ran Over the Kid
When Ritchie skins his knee at a skateboarding party under Richard's watch, Christine accuses Richard of bad parenting. But Christine soon surpasses him as the worse parent when her over-protectiveness backfires and she and Richard begin competing over which parent is the worst.
Too Close for Christine
Christine is initially flattered when another scatterbrained mother at Ritchie's school considers her a "rock," but quickly tires of the responsibility of being responsible.
A Change of Heart/Pants
Christine and Richard help Marly and Lindsay through labor, evoking memories of Ritchie's birth -- and possibly rekindling romantic feelings.
After Marly and Lindsay accuse Christine of causing a school outbreak of lice, she decides to pull Ritchie out of his snobby private school and give public school a chance, something that is not as easy as she anticipates.
He Ain't Heavy
Christine uses her expertise as a gym owner to help Matthew lose weight. In her attempt to help him, however, Christine is unable to shed the extra pounds she has put on herself.
The Old Maid of Honor
Christine's plan to prove that she's comfortable with Richard's remarriage backfires when the date she's supposedly "in love with," Todd, acts obnoxiously at the rehearsal dinner. Plus, Matthew hooks up with New Christine's sister, Amy.
Love: A Cautionary Tale
Feelings are reawakened in Christine and Papa Jeff, New Christine's father and Christine's old flame, as they rekindle their relationship at Richard and New Christine's wedding. But then Christine learns some shocking news about New Christine's father.
Christine and Matthew fly to the Bahamas to help get Barb an illegal visa after she is thrown in jail by immigration.
Christine and Richard meet up with some old college buddies and are shocked to see how much their friends have aged.
Christine thinks she is dying after Richard awkwardly spots an irregular mole on her chest, and panics when she can not get in to see a doctor fast enough. Meanwhile, Richard decides he needs to move back in with New Christine.
For Love or Money
After Barb has her lawyer send over divorce papers, Christine hires an aggressive divorce attorney, Howard, who convinces her that Barb owes her alimony.
Doctor Little Man
Christine begins seeing a therapist, Dr. Max Kershaw, who shares office space with Matthew, although it's unclear whether Christine is interested in pursuing therapy or romance.
The Curious Case Of Britney B
Christine surpasses the Meanie Moms in popularity when Ritchie is asked to a dance by the most popular girl in school. Plus, Matthew and Richard try to evict an elderly woman, Agnes Ross, from the apartment they hope to rent.
Max points out to Christine that she tends to quit things when they get too difficult, including relationships. This, he says, is one of the reasons he chose to be her therapist rather than her boyfriend.
Love Means Never Having to Say You're Crazy
Christine sets Richard up on a date with Tracey, a gorgeous, passionate woman who works out at her gym. Meanwhile Richard's friend, Tom, who has a longstanding crush on Christine, continues trying to woo her.
I Love Woo, I Hate You
Barb insists that Christine join her on a date with Dave, the immigration officer Barb has been dating, fearing that he might propose to her. Meanwhile, Richard realizes he must woo New Christine in order to get her back.
Old Christine Meets Young Frankenstein
When Christine finds out that Ritchie has been bullying other kids, she decides to set a good example and apologize to the woman she used to terrorize at school when she was young.
It's Beginning to Stink a Lot Like Christmas
Christine reluctantly attends her neighbor's holiday block party where she discovers a juicy secret.
A Whale of a Tale
When Christine decides to tell her therapist she's in love with him, his response is not what she expected.
Truth or Dare
Christine finds herself falling in love with Max until her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Harris, comes back into her life. Will she have to choose?
A Family Unfair
Christine feels left out as Richard and New Christine plan for their baby, so she decides she wants one too and asks Richard for his help.
When Christine and Barb find their business unexpectedly profitable, Christine undergoes a personal crisis trying to decide whether to spend her share of the newfound money on herself and splurge on a designer dress, or to follow Barb's lead and give it to charity.
Christine urges Ritchie's school principal to let the class take the subway on a field trip in order to learn real-world skills. But when the train leaves without her, Christine finds herself stranded at the station.
Up In the Airport
When Christine realizes Ritchie's never been on a real family vacation like his classmates, she plans a trip to Florida. But things don't turn out quite as she intended and the trip goes horribly awry.
Old Christine takes a cranky, very pregnant New Christine to a fancy salon to prepare her for the impromptu wedding that Richard is secretly planning.
I Love What You Do For Me
When Christine discovers that her five-year car lease is up, she evaluates her life during that time and realizes that not much has changed. She vows to make some big changes.
Christine convinces Matthew to stay over after a good-looking cop named Officer Johnson, who Christine assumes is a stripper, alerts her that there is a prowler in the neighborhood. Meanwhile, New Christine goes into labor -- on Old Christine's birthday.
Christine has Matthew and Barb throw her a "surprise" engagement party so she can get to know Max's friends. But she begins to feel intellectually inferior to one particular guest, driving her to make a "surprising" decision.